Find a Disney-character-named person.

No, no...I said has a Disney-character NAME. Not just a dude who looks like an idiot.
Objective: In a public place, find someone with the same name as a Disney afternoon cartoon character.

If you're like me, you grew up with Disney cartoons after school. If you're a little older, your line-up may have included Gummi Bears, DuckTales, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, and TaleSpin. If you're slightly younger, your afternoon might have held Darkwing Duck, Goof Troop, and some weird little fucker named Bonkers. Or maybe you flipped the station and watched Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs instead, but we're just sticking to the Disney lineup for this post, so shut up with your Pinky & the Brain references. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go to a large store and find someone who has the same name as one of these characters.

Now you may be wondering what the best method for doing this would be. While anything you think up is perfectly acceptable, my idea consists of dressing up like you're running some sort of promotional contest, whether that be in Disney shirt and hat or some third-party company. Make an announcement that the first person who can prove that their name is Launchpad McQuack wins a prize. Now obviously, you'll have to be standing there for quite a while before someone stops by with the legal name of Launchpad McQuack. So I've devised a list of character names within the following categories (best guess of animal type in parentheses) that you can use depending on which difficulty level you desire:

Quite common, boring names that aren't anything to call home about:
Chip (chipmunk), Dale (squirrel), Rebecca (bear), Molly (bear), Louie (duck), Max (Goofy's son...some type of dog maybe?)

Some more challenging names:
Dewey (duck), Huey (duck), Drake (duck, specifically a mallard)

The names that will be more fun to scream out inside of a store:
Baloo (bear), Gusto (bear, gummi), Bonkers (bobcat), Monterey Jack (Australian mouse) Fat Cat (a fat cat), Honker Muddlefoot (duck). Yes, Wikipedia aided me greatly for this blog entry.

So what happens when you actually find someone with one of these names? Well in my plan, you're doing this inside of Wal-Mart, so you give them a prize. Maybe just hand them a bag of peanuts or something off one of the shelves. I'm not exactly sure who gets credit for shoplifting if they eat the bag of peanuts thinking they were already paid for. If I've got any lawyers reading the blog, please leave the answer to this in the comments section so we all can benefit from your ridiculously-expensive-hourly-waged knowledge.

Now take a nostalgia break with some theme songs, which is really the basis for why I decided to write this blog anyway. I had the gosh darn DuckTales song stuck in my head.