Learn-A-Skill Friday!

Friday is the day that most of the world celebrates two days of upcoming vacation from the money-grubbing prisons that hold them hostage for the other 5 days a week. It's also the day when office workers notoriously work the least, especially toward the end of the day. Why not put your time to good use and learn a skill? Or at least watch some videos that will give you the inspiration needed to learn a skill on your own time.

Or NEVER EVER EVER try to learn these particular skills on your own after watching these. Sometimes I like to inspire you not to break your collarbone. You're welcome.

1. Don't learn a back-flip. And when you try and try and still haven't mastered it, don't get cocky and push aside the protective mat that separates your fragile bones from the unforgiving floor. Also, you're not Jackie Chan and you can't run up a wall and do a back-flip off that either. Don't try to learn that skill today.


2. Don't show off at a bowling alley. There are plenty of ways to knock down ten pins. You probably don't need to tear a bunch of your tendons with a giant backswing. And what the heck, you also probably don't need to pretend you're holding a demolition ball and take a chunk out of the ceiling. But hey, maybe that's a hit with the ladies.


3. DON'T SHOW OFF AT A FUCKING BOWLING ALLEY! I just friggin told you that. Don't learn how to juggle in the first place, but if you're going to, don't do it at a with objects that could end the life of a small child. Get ready to gasp.


4. Ok I think we're good with the...FUCK, will you cut it off with the goddamn bowling alley?! But this montage features the absolute best high-five mishap I've ever seen, so that makes me feel a tad bit better.


5. If you're going to play golf, don't get a mental block against hitting a golf ball. Especially if you're one of the world's more recognizable athletes. Poor Chuck.


6. Actually, don't play miniature golf either. And don't ride bikes.


Damn it, just don't learn any skills this weekend.