Walk a rodent. Or don't.

I think he's picked up the scent...'bout to bust a big drug ring...oh, nevermind, he's eating poop.Yes, go ahead and walk a rodent. Or a pet raccoon. Maybe an aardvark? Any animal that isn't supposed to be walked, you should walk. So don't walk a dog. That's what they'd EXPECT you to walk. Oh what about a cat? Most people don't walk cats. Yeah, but most people don't lick themselves until they puke up their own hair. You know who does? Cats. Don't walk cats, don't walk dogs, don't walk iguanas. They'll lick your ankle, it will tickle, and you'll probably trip and fall, smushing your pet iguana to death. Sure it was his fault, but that's just a tragic way to go, and you don't want it on your conscience. Maybe a deer? Oh hells no! Don't walk a deer. Deer try to kill cute defenseless puppies. Seriously. Fuck deer.



Crazy video right? Poor little puppy, out exploring the world, almost gets hoof-scootin' boogied to death. So let's see...don't walk dogs, cats, iguanas, deer...actually don't walk rodents either because obviously that's been done, and judging by the picture above, that little guy was about to freak the fuck out after discovering he was no longer running on a wheel. Don't walk a bunny, cause by the time you get home that sex-crazed little monster will probably have 25 illegitimate children running around the neighborhood. You know what, fuck it. Just walk a dog. This dog:

Life really is simple when you have an armor-plated puppy in your life. Just walk him and enjoy yourself. Cheers, tiny warrior.