Halloween and Go Seek.

Does anyone NOT want to punch this guy in the Whoop-ass?Hide and seek is a classic for kids, but with some slight modifications, it's the kind of game that adults can say "yippee" to, assuming that adults said such things, which they generally don't. Simply get out your favorite obnoxious Halloween costume (and NO, the picture above should not even exist, but it does, and definitely qualifies as obnoxious). The Halloween costume you use needs to be quite noticeable, to the point where strangers will either say "What the fuck is wrong with that guy?" or in the case of many scandalous female Halloween costumes these days "Did I just see her vagina?" In either case, you want people to know that they saw you and remember it. If that takes a beaver shot, so be it.

Step One: Get in a car with a bunch of friends. Have them leave you, the costumed participant, in a highly populated area of stores/bars.

Step Two: Get moving! You've got to find a good hiding spot within a 5-block radius of where you were dropped off, and you have to do it within 10 minutes. It should probably be a store/bar. It probably should NOT be a back alley, especially if you're a lone female with her cooch hanging out of her costume - safety first, ladies.

Step Three: The remainder of friends park their car(s) and begin hunting. They can ask anyone and everyone "Have you seen my douchey friend with a whoop-ass costume, and if so, which direction did he go?" Ideally, enough "seekers" are participating to split up in pairs and scour the area. Set a time limit...for instance, the hider needs to be found within 30 minutes, or the seeker loses.

It's that simple. Put some money on it if you'd like. Add some flavor to it and make it a bar-hoping venture as well. Some of my ideas on this blog are poorly planned, but this one is feasible. You might even say I "opened up a can of whoop-ass" on this idea. But you better NOT fucking say that. Ever.

p.s. My deepest condolences to the model told to wear the whoop-ass costume above. I'm so sorry you had to do that, man. You probably showed up to the photo-shoot that day and thought, "Easy money, I do my cowboy, my indian, my doctor, my Dracula, and CHA-CHING, I'm rolling in dough...wait...no...oh sweet Jesus that can't be what I'm wearing...oh...fuck."