Roll the dice, eat a hot dog.

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with my blog entry, but just look at the expression on the cat's face! Words cannot express what that kittie must be feeling. Thanks to sexypeople-blog.com.Perhaps one of the best ways to inexpensively pass time is with the help of a few friends and a board game. Ah, classic board games, how you never fail to make us happy. Oh, except for the MANY MANY MANY times you've failed to make us happy, like when you're missing pieces or all of your cards have been seen before and we already know the answers, or when you've got movable parts that stick, or when you REQUIRE 18 FUCKING AAA BATTERIES and gosh darn it, we've only got 16 at our disposal. But alas...when everything goes right, board games sure do deliver the good times, and you want those good times right NOW. So what's the plan...do you go to the store and buy more batteries? Do you buy a new game altogether? No, you lazy bum, you turn on the television and hope it fills the aching hole in your heart; the same hole you hoped would be filled with jovial laughter from "HA, you rolled ANOTHER 6!" or "You better not take my card, dicknose!" But it doesn't fill your hole. And you soooo wanted your hole to be filled tonight.

This is when you put on your thinking caps and realize that every board game was invented by someone just like you. Someone with the same boredom. The same longing for laughter and fun. The same holes. So who's to say you can't make your own board game? Nobody, and if there IS somebody saying these things, it's time to prove them wrong.

Step 1: Grab some paper, or cardboard if you're fancy. Draw something like this...
...or something not at ALL like this. Really you just want a Start and Finish square with a bunch of squares between them.

Step 2: Acquire dice. This is best accomplished by stealing from another game that has dice. If no dice are available, use this virtual dice roller.

Step 3: Get creative. Make some of the squares require you to draw a card from a stack of cards you've created. Write random tasks on these cards like "eat a hot dog." What, you don't have a hot dog in your house? Well load up the car, you're headed to a gas station and your friends are going to watch you eat a potentially hazardous month-old hot dog. If you're playing with a mixed-gender crowd, have one of the squares say "remove pants". If you're playing with all guys, probably don't have that square. If you're playing with all girls, DEFINITELY have that square. And a pillow fight. And a video camera. And my email address.

The only limits to the board game are those of your imagination. Which of course is a lie, because there are laws governing certain actions in nearly all parts of the globe...so try not to violate anything or anybody in the process of creating the world's most kickass board game.